Dear Drew Barrymore,
We should be friends. I think we would get along. The first boy I ever dated (for about a week, in grade eight) thought I looked like you. We would talk on the phone at night and he would say, "I'm looking at your picture." And I would be like, "How is that possible, we haven't gotten our school pictures yet... Are you looking at a picture of Drew Barrymore?" The answer was yes. That is kind of creepy, I know. This is part of why I dumped him (via another girl, in his science class. I was a bad bad dater). Actually, I liked it. Because you are adorable, and it is pretty much the ultimate compliment to be compared to you (side note, an old man at the library the other day told me he watched "The Girl in the Cafe" and that I reminded him of Kelly McDonald. She's a pretty cute person to be compared to, too). And you know how people fall in love with people who look like them? I think it works that way with friendship, too. Our cute roundish faces reveal our compatibility.
But yeah, we should go to Hawaii and smoke joints together (hey, what happens in Hawaii stays in Hawaii, okay?) and laugh at the paparazzi and take your dogs for walks and maybe I could date the guy who plays the PC in the Mac commercials and we would go on adorable double dates, you and Justin and me and PC guy... Sigh.